Changing to Improve Marriage

I loved the talk written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks called “The Challenge to Become.” I think this applies so well to marriage. It is quite simple for anyone to be married and to have the title of husband and wife, but it is a completely different level to become a good spouse and a good couple. This requires a process of sanctification and sacrifice, just life anything else in the gospel.
Just as Elder Oaks discusses, a recent circumstance in my life made me realize that sometimes the difficult things in our given to us to strengthen us. These trying, hard things allow us to readjust our perspectives and be elevated for a bit to a more eternal perspective. The difficult things that happen to us are really an opportunity to draw closer to God and learn to discover what He wants for us. We just need to be willing to humble ourselves and ask Him to help us see.
This process of changes our perspectives is what we need to be able to have an other centered love as President Hinckley discusses in his talk “Except the Lord build the house…” As we learn to readjust our perspective about life in general, this will enable us to learn to adjust our perspective about our spouses. Rather than focusing on the negative, we can choose to actively identify the positive qualities in the other person. This will in turn empower us and help us to better recognize our own divine attributes.
Also, reading this article taught me that the success of my marriage lies heavily on me. I need to focus more on the changes I can make in myself, rather than criticizing my husband. By constantly seeking to improve and strengthen my relationship with God, my relationship with my husband and children will naturally improve as well. The gospel has been structured to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man and this happens through marriage. Naturally when we do our best to follow the principles of the gospel we will be happier in our marriages.