Real love vs. Hollywood love

For my marriage prep class we had to read an article which discussed mature versus immature love. The ideas of this article were so intriguing to me. As I have gotten older I have become rather frustrated and disillusioned with the easy romance that Hollywood portrays. I knew that there was so much more required in a real relationship than the movies showed. Yet, watching chick flick after chick flick will eventually skew anyone’s view of love.
I love the concept discussed in this article, that to have mature love we need to have passion, intimacy, and commitment in equal proportions. I think that is so true. A lot of time Hollywood focuses so much on passion, that they forget the very important concepts of being truly committed to that person and also being emotionally intimate with them. I also love how this article emphasized the conscious nature of love. Although I definitely think there should be romantic, exciting feelings, it is so important that the relationship can make sense logically as well. There needs to be a balance between these two things.
This is one of the reasons I feel so blessed to have the direction of the Holy Spirit. As he directs me to understand God’s will, I can learn to seek a direction that I feel with both my mind and my heart. Sometimes in romance we get so caught up with the feelings of our heart that we forget to include our head in the decision. I believe that true love will be similar to what I feel in my life when I feel direction from God through the Holy Spirit. I believe that true love will feel peaceful and uplifting. I feel that true love will increase my ability to understand God’s purpose for me in my life.
A lot of time poems and movies discuss people becoming blinded by love. But I would like to think that true love has the effect of clarifying and strengthening one’s ability to see. I believe that through the process of loving this person, you will be able to understand together more perfectly the plan that God has intended for both of you.

The Changing Tides of Marriage

For my Marriage Preparation class, we have recently been assigned to read several reports of social scientists on marriage. It is interesting to consider these views on marriage. It is rather unsettling to consider the increasing trends towards divorce and cohabitation. Sixty years ago these lifestyles were very uncommon. Additionally, there was so much shame attached to these things. Now due to the influence of trends and how it is portrayed on television, it is practically expected that these things will occur.

I guess I just am so grateful for the opportunity I had to grow up in a home with two married parents. This has made a big difference in my life and I just wish that more people could have that experience. Since both of my parents have stayed married during my life, my mother was able to stay at home with us. It was so wonderful for me to know that I had her as a support at home. I always knew that if I had had a bad day at school, I could return home and talk with my mom. There are no monetary sums or tangible gifts that could value more than the time I had with my mother. I believe her choice to stay at home with us has had a big part in the reason that she is still one of my best friends to this day. I feel so blessed to have grown up with such a wonderful friend and sounding board.

Also, it surprises me to consider the attitudes that so many people have towards marriage. It seems like people enter into relationships and marriage with much more selfish reasoning. I have sometimes recognized this in myself. Many times I have very high, if not unrealistic expectations. Considering these articles made me want to reconsider my expectations of a relationship. Although it is important for me to look out for my best interests, this should not be my only priority. It will be important for me to take into consideration how I can potentially bless my future husband as well. Also, I need to keep in mind the needs of my future children. I am planning on rededicating myself to really getting to know myself so I can understand what God has intended for me. By understanding my strengths and weaknesses, I can be better prepared for whatever is in store for me in my future.